Feeling Out of Place?

Feeling, Out of Place, (OP) is a state of feeling not comfortable or suitable for a particular situation, occasion or place.

For example: when you go with your mother to the party, this party is for the age 50 above and you are just 19 years old, you think you can mingle with them, no! But you will feel Out of Place; this party is not suitable for your ages.

In a group, there is a time we feel OP because we didn’t recognize or notice by other member, leader or from the one we're expecting to get an attention, by that, we will feel bad for them and leave the group. 

This emotion also, often resides to the person who is looking for a special attention, which different from the other, also to timid and shy person,  when they didn’t get it, they feel out of place or disregarded. We can’t blame them, everybody has their own characteristic, even our closes friend, we can’t force other to do what we want, it also a fear, fear to neglect. That’s why, we feel bad when we didn’t recognized, we can fight the feeling of out of place by conquering yourself,

 

What must we do, if our friend or other didn’t pay attention to us And we feel Out of Place.

• Don’t feel bad if they didn’t notice you, for example, in facebook or social media you posted but they didn’t give attention to it or comment it, it just fine, post again and mention their name if you really want to get their attention.
• In a group, don’t wait for them to attend you, join in what they are doing and entertain them instead of entertaining you.
• Give them a consideration, think that they are just busy doing their own business. Or maybe they have a problem why they didn’t notice you.
• In gathering don’t think that they can entertain you, you are not the only visitor they have, and you should do the first move, by introducing yourself and mingle with them or simply leave the place without bad feelings.
• Take it from me, in the past NBA Finals, I not a fan of any basketball team but, I joined in my friend cheering for the winning team, I thought, if I will not do this I become Out of Place, so, it must begin to our self. 

There’s no one can solve if we feel out of place but us, it should not come to the point that we break up to our friend or keep a bad feeling to them. Feeling out of place is a selfish act, thinking that you are special so they should entertain you than the other? No, we should consider the feeling of other and be humble.

Think of these quotes;

“You must try to generate happiness within yourself. If you aren't happy in one place, chances are you won't be happy anyplace”.

The Wound of Bullying.

In the past days of school opening, bullying become a hot topic in a news, and in social media, thus, the law maker create an anti-bullying law, some school created also a rule against bullying. It’s an old problem, as long as there is a person who is feeling stronger than the other the bullying will never stop. Bullying is not just for kids in school, it happen also to adult in any place, back to the meaning of bullying, it is to intimidate or badger with threats and by an overbearing, swaggering demeanour.

Who is bully? It’s a noisy, blustering fellow, more insolent than courageous, who threatens, intimidates, or badgers people who are smaller or weaker than he is; an insolent, tyrannical fellow, a brisk, dashing fellow.


The factors of bullying is,

• Hurting people physically, by beating, hitting, throwing a things, anything that can hurt the weaker person‘s body.
• Hurting people emotionally, like saying bad word, threatening, saying bad words against our love one, not recognizing their effort or ignoring them, and doing anything that our emotion is involved. 

Literally, the solution in bullying are the rule created by school for the kids and the anti bullying created by law maker, we can sue them by physical injury. But emotionally it will leave a deep wound in our heart, in our being, sometimes it changed our attitude, our life and views in particular situation. How we can conquer it? Let me share to you how I cope it base on my experience, it changed my outlook toward my friend, that’s why I become timid, I don’t want to talk for fearing that I might say something they didn’t want. Sometimes I feel out of place, I always remember the bullying happened to me, but through the help of God and myself I solve it.


How can we heal the wound of bullying happened to us.

• Acceptance, accept the facts that it happened to you and can’t be happen anymore 
• Forgiveness, forgives those who bully you whether they are your friend, family or not. 
• Reminiscing good things, if they are your friend, remember the good thing you have been shared together and forget the bad things. 
• Shared your story, write and shared your experience in bullying, it can also relieve us from the bad memory of bullying.

The best resolve is come to God, pray, and mingle with the brethren in Christ.
No person want to live in bad memories for a life time, there is so many way to get out from there, you just have to be strong, willingness to accept and forget the past.

Grandparents: How we value them?

Have you value your grandparents? Sadly my grandparents are both gone, when I was just a boy, they died in the province; because of financial problem at that time we didn’t able to go home.

We must valued our grandparents, from them we learn an extra ordinary character that they adopt from our old custom, because of our modern day we forgot already the good values of the old time and we can learn it from our grandparents.

Sometimes our grandparent are strict than our parents, they discipline us than our parents, they are more than a parent than our biological parents, maybe that’s is why they are called "Grand Parents"


Let me share to you some things to make our grandparent want us to do to them.

• Let’s accept them, just as you want your grandparents to accept you, do the same for them, and buy them some cloth or anything that they want, complement them and tell them how good they look.
• Let’s learn from them, you would wonder how the knowledge and wisdom store up in their mind because of their experience, sometime, they know already what the outcome of your plan is.
• Lets listen to them, sometimes our grandparent taught us the thing they know in their time, but we didn’t listen because what they are saying is old tune and we are in the modern tune now, instead to become tired of their story, why we didn’t listen, this is they want, to listen to them, in fact their story are true and you can get a lesson.
• Let’s talk to them, have a time to talk to them, share them your goal, some happy moment in your daily life, they want to hear it, like when their child was young, now your parents who is busy now in their work, now, they are looking for it from you,  their grandchildren. They want to hear about your study, job, hobbies and activities, they are also often more approving and less judgmental than our parents.
• Let’s help them, they help you when you are small, now help them too, instead of noticing the fallen leaves in their backyard when you visit, why don’t you get a dash pan and get it. Help them to clean their house, offer them to get out and dine in the restaurant. Help them to be happy in their life.
• Lets share our faith with them tell them your growing faith, maybe in your young age they bring you in the church, so now, they want to know if your faith that they plant to you was still in you, you can be a real testimony to them if they are unbeliever. Just like the old days that they bring you to Church, bring them to the Church too.

Our grandparents are eager to maintain a good relationship with us, they want to remember their old days with their child and we can fulfill it, as their grandchildren by taking care of them, and by listening to them.

Father at home.

Being a father is a great responsibility, like a group, father is a leader or head of the family.

I have been raised in the family where the father is like a king, what he want what he get, if you didn't follow him, surely you have a punishment. In just one look on us, we know already what he means, we have a great fear in our father, even my mother, because he always punishes us every time we got wrong even a simple sin, he didn't let it past.

He didn't  do a house work, his reason, he is the one who work for our needs, why he work at home, let it, to the mother and children, he spend his rest time watching TV. Sometimes he is right, but it has a wrong impression for a child, that why when I saw a father who cook and washing a dress, I been proud of them, I though, I wish my father is like them too.

It’s not compulsory for the father to do a house work, they are right they are the one who work for a living, we cannot force our father to do home work, but if the father  want their  children be more proud of them, other than working for family needs, they can do it by helping their  wife and children to do the work at home, in the bible "Children's children [are] the crown of old men; and the glory of children [are] their fathers." (Prov. 17:6) the glory of children are their father. 

Some father especially the new one don’t know how to do this, well, here are some idea how we can help our wife and children at home.

• ·         Take an active leadership role in family worship, this is the most important, in this way your child will be proud of you, we can’t deny this is the most thing that father didn't do because of busyness in working, sometime they let it to the mother to lead. In the bible it should be the father who will lead the worship service if you do this they will greatly rejoice. "The father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice: and he that begetteth a wise [child] shall have joy of him."(Prov. 23:24) lead them to the right way of righteousness.
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• ·         Help with homework, this is what I’m looking to my father,  In the bible, “Like as a father pitieth [his] children, [so] the LORD pitieth them that fear him”. (Ps 103:13) takes pity on your wife and children, help them around the house, if something that your wife didn't finish, why don’t you finish it for her. The families that work together stay forever.
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• ·         Help the children with their school work, when I was in grade school, when I ask my father to help me with my school work he always told me to go with my mother, children has a high regards than their mother in term of education because the children expect too  much to their father. And it’s also wonderful to see that father and child working together.
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• ·         Spend some prime time alone with your wife, our children make us an idol or a example especially in building family, if they saw that we love our wife so much, they will dream to have a husband like us or a wife like their mother, so, we must show them an example, let’s show them that we love our wife by taking an extra care for their mother, have time alone with your wife, like a date or dinner for two of you only, at least one at a time a week. When husband and wife are secured in each other love both can do a better parenting.
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• ·         Curtail excessive spending on dads toys,  sometimes father are tend to depend their own expenses while if the kids or wife want to buy something, he will say we can’t afford it or we have no budget for that, especially if he is the only one who work. it’s not fair for the kids and wife, they will thought if you want to buy, you will buy, if the kids or wife want to buy, you have no budget, let have a budget, set an amount for personal spending for each family, not for you only.
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• ·         Take an active and supportive role in disciplining the children, support your wife on disciplining your child, I remember when we didn't follow our mother she always told us wait for your father and you will see, they are supporting each other in disciplining us, when parents don’t cooperate on disciplining, children learn how to play one parents against the other, don’t let it happen, support each other.
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• ·         Minimize criticism and maximize encouragement of family members, too much criticism is not good, much better if we avoid criticizing each other. praise and thanks our family for what they do that please you, they will do more that please you, learn what prophet Elijah  says "And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse".(Mal. 4:6)

Nobody want to be a bad father, all of us want to be the best father, we can do it if we follow God example, let’s show a good things to our family, for sure they will proud of us.

Happy Father’s day to all!!!

iBlog9: Thanks for the Knowledge and Things you have shared.

iBlog9 Group Picture.

Blogging is awesome; it can be used in any field. Especially in business, its content use as powerful marketing tool. (#bentalk2013, #iBlog9)

I was overwhelm when I learned, that there is a Blogging Summit, my wife knows that I waited an event like this, so, she registered my name in the event of  iBlog - the Philippine Blogging Summit held at UP College of Law, last May 31,  and June 1, 2013, it was sponsored by Solaire Resorts, Sun iMessenger, Vibal Foundation, and Alfox Computer Center

In the first day. it was opened by Ms. Janette Toral by Flag Ceremony and Prayer then followed by the First speaker Mr. Ben Francia, one of the blogging influencer, He shared his story when he start blogging up to this date that he reach where he is now. He gives the blogger some tips, and then followed by other speaker who also shared their knowledge and experiences to motivate the bloggers/attendees. I take Photo of every lecture in the screen. Each speaker gives us a chance to ask question after their lecture,

On the lunch time, I’ve got a chance to take a photo of Mr. Ben Francia with me, and also to Ms. Janette Toral, I was following them on the twitter for a months and their twit are interesting and good for me as a new blogger that’s why, when I learned that, they are the speaker in the Blogging summit, I feel glad and I plan to meet them and take a picture with them. and also to the EMCEE Flow Galindez.

I thought blogging is just for fun, just a hobby for the people who want to share their thought and experiences but it’s not that’s all about, its almost use in business, speaker and bloggers who attend the event are mostly engage in business, they use their blog to introduce their product to people and to their prospective client, as for me, it’s not yet come to my mind to use it in business, for I have no business yet, for now my fashion in blogging is just to shared, share my opinion, experiences and information.

On the second day its more advance lecture from the speaker, there is a lecture about the legal side of blogging, The Data Privacy Act by JJ Disini. This is what we need most as a blogger, “do not copy and paste” which is plagiarism, that's should be avoid in blogging. If you commit it, the worst thing happened to you is to have a lawsuit.

This event enhanced my knowledge, it give me more fashion on blogging, I was happy I been part of this event, it also make me to interact with other people, I’m a shy type person, it’s another experience to fight this shyness.

At the end of each day of the event, there is a raffle, on the first day, we won t-shirt of iBlog9 and grocery pack, on the second day, we won another t-shirt, pouch from Solaire, a ball pen and calculator from sun imessenger and Take picture in the Photo boot of Vibal Publishing. But it’s not a matter of that things and gift, we won, but the knowledge we got, that’s the very important thing and we will keep it in our mind and heart.

Thanks to iblog the 9th Philippine Blogging Summit and to all speaker, participant and sponsors. Hope to see you again in iBlog 10.