How to Prevent kids from taking alcohol or drugs.

The police knock on the door of one house, the owner open the door and ask the police "what can I do for you" the police said, "we have your son in the headquarters, we caught him using a prohibited drugs."

Sometime this is saddest news for some of our parents for their children, not only in drugs but in other cases that our child gets involving with.

Our children make their own choice, whatever we do our children are expose in any vice like drugs, liquor and other bad things surrounding us, we cannot prevent them from taking alcohol or drug if they want to do so, we cannot be with them every minute 24/7 to watch their activities. But we can take a step to strengthen them to resist the pressure of the society that confronts them every day, it‘s like a bad weather we can’t do it to go away, but we can take preventive measure for our child to become a victim,

Now a day, the use of prohibited drugs and alcohol abuse are wide spread and indeed bad. The reality is by the time they finish high school, almost all graduate have already tried prohibited drugs and alcohol, and sometime the other had been continued with it and become abusive.

Why kids experiment with drugs and alcohol? when I was in high school one of my classmate ask me to take marijuana but I refuse because I know that is bad but the other out of curiosity they take it. This is one reason.

Alcohol it associated with glamor, love, athletic prowess and fun where some student like it, they want fun and felling like an outcast going to the party and having a friend beg them to try drugs and alcohol.

There are six factors of taking drugs and alcohol continuously. 

• Biological disposition, 
• peer pressure, 
• parental attitudes, 
• life crises, 
• depression, and 
• parenting style.

Because of this factors all kids become drug and alcohol user because they are in pain, so they self medicated with drug and alcohol, drugs are quick and available, I don’t know what is the feeling if you are under drugs but some say they feel good, they forgot their problem for awhile the drugs resolved their pain that’s why they continued to use it.

Kids believe that they should be able to do what adult do and the use of drugs or alcohols are merely an age restriction having nothing to do with right and wrong.

We parent should do to teach our kids to take not drugs and alcohol, we must know what this kids problems.

 Let me share some tip on how to prevent the kids from drugs and alcohol.

• Set the example of abstinence, sometime we parents are their example in taking alcohol because they saw us, the think it also good for their young body. 
• educate your child about the danger of alcohol and drug use, like my father who is drunkard he always told me not to drink alcohol because it’s bad for the health and also he always telling me not to take drugs, in my high school there is a group of people go to our school to teach about drugs so I know the effect of it. 
• Help prevent drugs and alcohol use by giving short term reward for not using them and short term restriction for failing to meet the parental standard. 
• Identify problem early know the signs of drug use. when you notice that they use prohibited drug don’t hesitate to call the proper authority for treatment, some parent are afraid that our child will go to rehab but if you really love them you will let them to heal, be supportive of follow up treatment and forgive your kids for what they have done they are just a victim, show that even they wrong against you, we parents still love them and prevent them from going back in that bad things again.

Take care of our child they are our future, a hope of the nation, from them, a new leader will arise, if we make them a good follower, they can be a good leader.

Kids on Social Media, how can we monitor them.

The knowledge of man become wider and wider, the technology continued to modernization, the mind of man filled with things in this world on how to do new thing, what is to invent in the near future.

Today computer device are highly use, this are not for adult only, our young child also exposed in using computer. Not like us we know what we get in the internet, but the young one is not, they only knew is it is good feeling when you touch the high-tech computer.

When I first learned about the computer, I was wonder, in this computer you can learned everything, in just a tip of your finger you reach the world, it was a happy feeling that I first touch the computer keypad and began to play the game in it, I become curious in the net, then I surf and surf, I didn’t learned computer in the school, I learned it in the office, after office I open the computer then I play and surf because its prohibited to play during office hour. It’s a good feeling if you get the extra ordinary thing like computer at that old days, but now it’s not extra ordinary anymore.

Other kids is like me when I first learned the computer, today computer has many application now, many site that is not appropriate to our child, a highly informative, highly dangerous too for them. They can learn good thing, also a bad thing. Sometime, they get their action in the computer, we can’t blame them at their age they are still exploring, what we do is, monitor them, computer are very useful, others can’t live without this technology,

How to monitor our kids engaging in social media?

• In facebook let’s add them as friend, in this way we can know their activity, their friend, their post, we can interact to them in chatting, by this also they become aware of their moves because they know you are watching.
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• In twitter we can do the same be follower of him or her, and any other social media, if you want to hide your identity you can change your name in this way you can monitor their activity without their knowledge.
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• One of my niece was leaving with me, he like to surf in the net, he is about 12 years old, I was wondered because there is a time when he use the computer he closed the door of computer room, what I do is, I open his computer, in computer, there is a archive that all the site you opened was store there, it is the history folder, I open it and I saw there is a porn site, further more when I open his video there is a unpleasant video of him. I didn’t confront him, I just delete the video and reset the history, it’s enough, when he find out what I do he will be aware of it already, the second time I do it, there no more like I found before.
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• Sometimes they become more knowledgeable in computer surfing, than us, you will amaze, how do they found it? it’s just, fine but they need guidance, sometime what they found in the web affect in their life, always check their laptop, the site they open if it not good, delete then explain to them about it. They are young like I say they are still exploring and this exploration affect their life, bad or good defend on how we guide them.

We become more and more modern, our tools become sophisticated, it became dangerous too, and it can ruin your life and change your life. Let’s use these modern tools for good, still leaving with God. He allowed everything not to forget Him but to praise and remember Him.

Grandparents: How we value them?

Have you value your grandparents? Sadly my grandparents are both gone, when I was just a boy, they died in the province; because of financial problem at that time we didn’t able to go home.

We must valued our grandparents, from them we learn an extra ordinary character that they adopt from our old custom, because of our modern day we forgot already the good values of the old time and we can learn it from our grandparents.

Sometimes our grandparent are strict than our parents, they discipline us than our parents, they are more than a parent than our biological parents, maybe that’s is why they are called "Grand Parents"


Let me share to you some things to make our grandparent want us to do to them.

• Let’s accept them, just as you want your grandparents to accept you, do the same for them, and buy them some cloth or anything that they want, complement them and tell them how good they look.
• Let’s learn from them, you would wonder how the knowledge and wisdom store up in their mind because of their experience, sometime, they know already what the outcome of your plan is.
• Lets listen to them, sometimes our grandparent taught us the thing they know in their time, but we didn’t listen because what they are saying is old tune and we are in the modern tune now, instead to become tired of their story, why we didn’t listen, this is they want, to listen to them, in fact their story are true and you can get a lesson.
• Let’s talk to them, have a time to talk to them, share them your goal, some happy moment in your daily life, they want to hear it, like when their child was young, now your parents who is busy now in their work, now, they are looking for it from you,  their grandchildren. They want to hear about your study, job, hobbies and activities, they are also often more approving and less judgmental than our parents.
• Let’s help them, they help you when you are small, now help them too, instead of noticing the fallen leaves in their backyard when you visit, why don’t you get a dash pan and get it. Help them to clean their house, offer them to get out and dine in the restaurant. Help them to be happy in their life.
• Lets share our faith with them tell them your growing faith, maybe in your young age they bring you in the church, so now, they want to know if your faith that they plant to you was still in you, you can be a real testimony to them if they are unbeliever. Just like the old days that they bring you to Church, bring them to the Church too.

Our grandparents are eager to maintain a good relationship with us, they want to remember their old days with their child and we can fulfill it, as their grandchildren by taking care of them, and by listening to them.

Father at home.

Being a father is a great responsibility, like a group, father is a leader or head of the family.

I have been raised in the family where the father is like a king, what he want what he get, if you didn't follow him, surely you have a punishment. In just one look on us, we know already what he means, we have a great fear in our father, even my mother, because he always punishes us every time we got wrong even a simple sin, he didn't let it past.

He didn't  do a house work, his reason, he is the one who work for our needs, why he work at home, let it, to the mother and children, he spend his rest time watching TV. Sometimes he is right, but it has a wrong impression for a child, that why when I saw a father who cook and washing a dress, I been proud of them, I though, I wish my father is like them too.

It’s not compulsory for the father to do a house work, they are right they are the one who work for a living, we cannot force our father to do home work, but if the father  want their  children be more proud of them, other than working for family needs, they can do it by helping their  wife and children to do the work at home, in the bible "Children's children [are] the crown of old men; and the glory of children [are] their fathers." (Prov. 17:6) the glory of children are their father. 

Some father especially the new one don’t know how to do this, well, here are some idea how we can help our wife and children at home.

• ·         Take an active leadership role in family worship, this is the most important, in this way your child will be proud of you, we can’t deny this is the most thing that father didn't do because of busyness in working, sometime they let it to the mother to lead. In the bible it should be the father who will lead the worship service if you do this they will greatly rejoice. "The father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice: and he that begetteth a wise [child] shall have joy of him."(Prov. 23:24) lead them to the right way of righteousness.
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• ·         Help with homework, this is what I’m looking to my father,  In the bible, “Like as a father pitieth [his] children, [so] the LORD pitieth them that fear him”. (Ps 103:13) takes pity on your wife and children, help them around the house, if something that your wife didn't finish, why don’t you finish it for her. The families that work together stay forever.
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• ·         Help the children with their school work, when I was in grade school, when I ask my father to help me with my school work he always told me to go with my mother, children has a high regards than their mother in term of education because the children expect too  much to their father. And it’s also wonderful to see that father and child working together.
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• ·         Spend some prime time alone with your wife, our children make us an idol or a example especially in building family, if they saw that we love our wife so much, they will dream to have a husband like us or a wife like their mother, so, we must show them an example, let’s show them that we love our wife by taking an extra care for their mother, have time alone with your wife, like a date or dinner for two of you only, at least one at a time a week. When husband and wife are secured in each other love both can do a better parenting.
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• ·         Curtail excessive spending on dads toys,  sometimes father are tend to depend their own expenses while if the kids or wife want to buy something, he will say we can’t afford it or we have no budget for that, especially if he is the only one who work. it’s not fair for the kids and wife, they will thought if you want to buy, you will buy, if the kids or wife want to buy, you have no budget, let have a budget, set an amount for personal spending for each family, not for you only.
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• ·         Take an active and supportive role in disciplining the children, support your wife on disciplining your child, I remember when we didn't follow our mother she always told us wait for your father and you will see, they are supporting each other in disciplining us, when parents don’t cooperate on disciplining, children learn how to play one parents against the other, don’t let it happen, support each other.
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• ·         Minimize criticism and maximize encouragement of family members, too much criticism is not good, much better if we avoid criticizing each other. praise and thanks our family for what they do that please you, they will do more that please you, learn what prophet Elijah  says "And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse".(Mal. 4:6)

Nobody want to be a bad father, all of us want to be the best father, we can do it if we follow God example, let’s show a good things to our family, for sure they will proud of us.

Happy Father’s day to all!!!